It’s been a while. I won’t lie to you, I’ve wanted to write more, but I’ve been busy basking in the fame and celebrity status I have earned in my family, thanks to my post I’m an Egyptian Woman and I Like Being Sexually Harassed.
Me: Baba, 3000 people read my blog about sexual harassment!
Baba: What’s a blog?
Me: it’s a note you write online.
Baba: Ah, so it’s not real.
Baba: It doesn’t count if it’s not in a newspaper.
Me: 3000 people is a big deal!
Baba: I have 1000 names on my phone; does that make me a big deal?
Me: (sulking) This is not a competition.
Baba: She writes a note on Facebook and calls herself a writer.
Me: It’s not on Facebook!
Baba: Even worse.
Me: It’s a blog! Bloggers are writers, you know!
Baba: Does Naguib Mahfouz have a blog? Does Alaa Al Aswany have a blog?
Me: (sulking) No.
Mama: Are you sure the 3000 people are even real?
Mama: How do we know you didn’t click on it 3000 times?
Me: For God’s sake, people read my blog! When am I going to get some respect around here?
Mama: When you clean your room.
Baba: Let’s look at the newspapers today. Is your name in El Sherouk? No. What about Al Masry Al Youm? Bardo no. What about Magalet El Shabab? Ha? Ha?
Me: You people are terrorists.
Mama: Stop being so mean to her, Abdalla. She looks tired, she must have been up all night clicking on her note.
Me: I’ll have you know that writing online is very cool. Alaa El Aswany tweets all the time.
Baba: He does what?
Me: He tweets. He sends messages on Twitter.
Baba: Mashy, so Alaa has tweetar. Hayel. How many books did he write?
Baba: How many books did he sell?
Me: I’ll go clean my room.