I wake up every morning looking forward to getting sexually harassed in Cairo. Because a day gone by without being whistled at like cattle or groped like a melon at a vegetable store is a day unlived in this city. Right?
I even dress according to how often I’d like to get harassed that day. Tight white t-shirt? That’s the number one sign that I’m asking for it. Skinny jeans are obviously worn to highlight my butt so men know what to grab (some short-sighted idiots completely miss and grab my hip instead, which is just plain insulting).
And since I don’t cover my hair, then obviously I know what shit I’m getting myself into by walking on the streets of the city I call home as an equal citizen to the men that lurk on corners, outside shops, dangling from microbuses, waiting happily.
As an Egyptian woman, I completely understand that my purpose in this life is to serve the sexually frustrated imaginations of these poor men who can’t get it up. My father and mother spent years of sweat, tears and hard-earned cash on educating me into an emancipated woman so that one day I become a walking piece of meat on the street. Obviously.
Then I discovered that all the hours I put into my hair and makeup make no difference whatsoever to my sexual predators; I could walk around with my uncombed hair and a gallabeya; hell, I could wear a black tent from head to toe and still, they’d find something sexual about me. Ever heard Egyptian men talk about how erotic the Niqab is? Yeah, apparently there’s nothing you can do or wear to incite harassment.
Just the plain fact that you have boobs and they don’t means you’re up for grabs, literally.
I could spend what’s left of my pea-sized woman’s brain wondering what I did to deserve this friendly male reception, or analyzing why society has continuously objectified us little women into pigeon-holes of either innocent, doe-eyed girls or rampant whores; but I won’t.It takes too much brain power, and me being the weaker sex, I should stick to what I do best, which according to these men, is nothing.
Which is why I should never talk back, or look back, or yell or ask for help; this is my fate, I must accept it. And not even the veil can protect me from my Muslim brothers.
So I play a little game in my head. It’s like walking through a videogame scene, where every man is a potential predator, and I keep my radar finely tuned, my walk fast and dontmesswithme, my eyes scanning every corner for attackers. Over the years, I’ve acquired a Robocop face that occasionally scares the living shit out of small children and animals, and my middle finger is my videogame weapon that I choose to shoot when the moment comes.
But I only keep it for those who really deserve it; I ask myself ‘Is this the worst line I’ve heard all day? Has he managed to completely annihilate my self-esteem?’ If so, then he gets the finger. If not, I just walk on.
And I defy what my well-intentioned mother and many other kind Egyptians have taught me, and I answer back. Why should men get all the fun?
Him: Bsssst! Bsssssst! Bssssssst!!
Me: Bsssst dee teb2a ommak.
Him: WELKOM TO EEJIPT!
Me: SANK YOU!
Him: Wat Zis? Wat Zis? Wat Zis? WAT ZIS?
Me: Zis is etnayel yala.
Him: Matgeeb Bosa?
Me: Ma3ak Dettol?
Him: Oh MAI GODD!
Me: Ommak Ar3a.
And as fun as it is to talk back, I’m sure I’m not getting the same kick out of it that they are. And I know that it could only make things worse for me, my predator could easily attack me in broad daylight or get his friends together to follow me like a pack of rabid dogs, and of course it will be my fault because I talked back, when I should ignore it and accept that this is the price you pay for being a woman in Egypt. Right?
We had that problem in America for many years. I can’t speak for all cities, of course and do not offer advice on women’s issues. On this one, however the feminists offered a solution many years ago and advised women that when men are insulting women or using language that they know will be offensive, they are putting women on the defensive. Women are taught to behave “like a lady” from childhood but seldom understand the price they pay for that behavior. The Feminists advised them to use the same language in the same tones and let them know that they are not intimidated by this. From my own experience, I know that stopping intimidation is often just calling the person’s bluff and putting THEM on the defensive.
Don, sexual harassment still happens to women every day in the US. It includes both physical and verbal harassment. I’m not going to argue that it happens as frequently as it does to women in Egypt, but to ignore/forget/not realize that it still happens to women in the US is extremely problematic. Different cultural, social, economic, political, etc. context require different strategies to eliminate the issue. It’s good to keep the dialogue going and I’m happy that the author of this post strongly emphasized that harassment is independent of style of dress.
start a woman’s movement that sexually harasses those men. tit for tat.
that may just encourage thoes type of men… they may even become aggressive and attack you… and they’re defensive would be that you came on to them and you were asking for it. i’ve been to egypt lol and i understand as a american teenager its exactly what she said, alexandria was the worse lol, and they do whisper bssssst at you lol trying to get your attention..honestly i didnt know how sexual harassment will get resolved. culturally things will just have to change, idk how.
women in Egypt have been harassed (verbally and physically) since they were little girls in school uniforms. i have been harassed when i was 11, been harassed by police officers and harassed wearing jeans & wearing a 3abaya in Ramadan alike, often when i am with my own mother who is a lady that in theory should be respected at least for her age. the problem is that it is sadly accepted as the norm.
i hope you sex me
and any price
tel / 0102154109
Great article, even if i am not an egyptian girl, as a french girl living in Egypt this exactly what I feel when I walk down the street (the robocop face, the middle finger as only weapon and the verbal strick back to get some fun out of cat calls). Thank you. Great Job.
sad but true :S
Interesting, ever tried responding in chinese?
All the cool guys live in Northern California. good luck.
Kriss
So unnerving! Thank god, that I’m not born as a woman, and not in Egypt. Pathetic perverts is all I can muster up, and I’m afraid that too is not enough. I seriously thought that guys who keep staring at women in public buses here in India, should be punished for this intolerable crime. But now they seem angelic saints in comparison to these satans. All I can say to you is that never lose your faith in humanity, there must be some kind people still left in Egypt. Don’t lose your hope…
I appreciate your kind comment, but please. You speak as if all that men in India do is “stare” at women. Their behavior is exactly the same as the Egyptian men described here- comments, catcalls, disrespectful staring, groping, and worse. It is a global issue.
When I read the article it brought back a lot of memories of my time living in India. One of the most unfriendly places on earth for women. You need a Robocop face- kind of.
The golden rule in India is “Never look a Man in the Eye”- it obviously means you are dying to have intercourse with them, or be grabbed and groped, insulted, followed home, intimidated and of course, stared at. Even if you are just 11.
this is incredibly true! it sickens me! it is unfair and wrong in everyway that a girl cant feel safe in her own country.
and egypt calls itself a religious country which has “real men ” BULL SHIT theres not ONE man! all slimy sneaky pathetic freaks who LITERALLY do not deserve to live and THEY are the ones who should be judged not the girls who have different beliefs or the girls who dress differently ! THE MEN ON THE STREETS should be judged and suffer consequences !
Us Egyptian woman should come together and make a change ; a campagine or develop a law.
we must do something !
very nicely said……….i can see the day you wrote this article was a rather annoying one………..
but let me say something from my point of view……….
i’m a guy……………and i love girls…………..
I’m so into the flirting game that I have my own trade marked pick up lines……….
I always get the girl…………and yes I love females in a hysteric way……….
but let me tell you this……….
by god…….there hasn’t been a female ever in my life, whom I have seen imposing the “Signs of respect” and ever got disrespected by me or otherwise…….
just remember……….that as you said………..you can dress according to how much u wanna grab attention, you can also dress to divert the harassment away from yourself…………..
plus………
and this is the real problem………
you’re ONE decent girl………….what about the rest of the girls?…….did u see who’s representing you daily recently?
you work hard as one respectable human to be normal and live normal………
while at the same time the streets are just being flooded more and more by bad examples that are a “MAJORITY”…………
so scream on ant………I hear you……..but only I……
So Abdullatif, you claim … “there hasn’t been a female ever in my life, whom I have seen imposing the “Signs of respect” and ever got disrespected by me or otherwise” What EXACTLY are these “Signs of respect” that you and the other lagartijos on the street are looking for? It can’t be clothing, because women in hijab and niqab get harassed every day.
OH, I know!!!!! It’s the 4-man escort with AK-47s walking point, side, and tail gunner!
wow ! thanks god you’ve sent us abdellatif with his words of wisdom
no seriously, put the testosterone excuse away just for a minute.
how come that in 2011, nearly 2012 people still consider an attractive well dressed girl or just dressed the way she likes as a #prostitute# were as the men who is harrassing her is just a viril guy.
come on. travel abroad and see how other men react when they see a sexy bombastic girl !
if following your theory, how do you justify the sadly famous video of a poor women wearing hijab getting attacked by more than 100 men?
oh yeah i can hear the answer….. it’s a fake video right ?
Zahra makes a good point. Abdullatif, you may have the best intentions but you are still blaming women. Why is it always the woman’s fault?
@ Abdullatif: It’s sick to blame the girls. You love the flirting game? Well, we don’t. NONE OF US. Stop speaking for us and start giving us our right to speak back.
I am sorry Helene, many women enjoy flirting. Its a human thing….
I agree. I guess I was just very mad because a stranger grabbed my breast that day in Cairo, in the morning on the street while you could see that I am pregnant.
THAT no woman likes, would you agree?
Join a slutwalk! https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.176275825759622.49897.176254672428404
I am a young fit fifty yr old man. from uk. if u thimk a woman is hot u have a little look, if she see u looking just smile! hate perverts dat think woman is not our sisters, we ar the same in thinking and the only diference is da womb hence wombman and man. we cant live withoughtour atractions to one another.i wauld hate to be a woman in ur country.although we have dem type of men in uk police will help harased woman.
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We’ve translated into Arabic a list of suggestions for combating street harassment originally compiled by Stop Street Harassment… spread the word!
http://qawemeharassment.com/how-to-resist-%D9%83%D9%8A%D9%81%D9%8A%D8%A9-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D8%B5%D8%AF%D9%8A-%D9%84%D9%84%D8%AA%D8%AD%D8%B1%D8%B4/
Here in the USA its no different, when I walk down the street guys would whistle and make fools of themselves. I feel so embarrassed cause thats not what I was looking for. It attraction attention I wasnt even wanting. Makes you feel powerless and dirty as if you did something to make them react. How I get through it, I hold my head up high and walk by knowing they cant rattle me or get a reaction from me.
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I think this article is great and well written. I am a girl from Morocco, and I live in the exact same conditions, if not worst. There is no law to protect us, and if you dare sharing your problem with people, it is generally ‘your fault because you were wearing attractive clothes’ which is most of the time not true. Plus, if you complain to a policeman, he will either harass you or state that you deserve it.
Same here in Egypt, I once had a guy following me from school to the metro station and when I told the police man standing he harassed me to.
As an Arab guy , I feel ashamed that these kind of behaviours happen all the time in our part of the world – by arab guys ! I’m sorry for what you are going through and I know that being sorry doesn’t change anything but I hope it makes you feel better that there are some of us who don’t think or behave like that.
Sometimes I witness some conflicting behaviours , funny & sad at the same time .. like riding in a taxi cab and the taxi driver start talking about how the streets are dangerous and how scared he feels on his sister and wife when they get out in the streets , yet … we are stuck in a traffic jam and he makes a 360 degrees head movement to watch a passing by girl , and finally he make his harrassment for the day and he feels victorious !
Is it a personality disorder or is it the animal part of the brain functioning at that time , I have no idea.
The only thing I try to argue with those people ; what if it was your wife, sister or daughter … would you want someone to do the same for them ?!
Lots of respects for you my dear friend and for all the female population living these situations , be safe !
set up prayers of five times a days.
shafiquerafique@hotmail.com
Thank you, great article. it so sad, living in muslım country and having such sexually harrassed. Shame of us
During my time in Egypt, I actually did try to talk to people and make them understand that Muzza ain’t a compliment, but the sad thing is the main answer I got was:
We respect women the most.
True, as long as their are your sister, your daughter, your mother or your wife and then they are protected from you, because you know how men are and women are defenseless!
However, if women choose to actually do sth. against it, they get asked questions like “what did you do?” and even sadder, the question was asked by a woman.
Frankely Egyptian women need to stand up and foreign women living in Egypt have to stop accepting harrassement, because its part of the culture.
It ain’t and I am myself am greatfull for an article like this!
I lived in the states for 18 years and I could tell you that it is no difference, try walking in Cleveland’s east side anytime of the day. you simply can’t.
well am a man who disrespect anyone who do such things for women and girls, and i was raised to be polite and respectful, i even disrespect myself if let my mind think about hitting a girl, all i can do when i see a beautiful girl is to take a quick look at her and say “masha2 allah” in my self and be done with it, and i dont strip her with my eyes or anything, dont let them get under ur skin
First, awesome blog
. Second I think any being with boobs in this country can easily relate to what you’re saying, myself at the top of that list. Because at this point I’ve been called every name in the book. No ass grabbing though, sorry that you’ve been groped. But like you said that’s the price you pay for being a woman in Egypt, as if it’s a crime.
The truth is shocking and as an egyptian man I have to say I am ashamed from the actions of many Egyptians. This is the result of 30 years of decadence, corruption and cruelty. People living in poverty, in fact, living under the line of poverty. People who will succumb to this will end up becoming rapists, murderers and thieves. What you are experiencing my dear sister is the result Hosny’s regime. We should thank him for that. I blame the Hosny mubarak before I blame them. I blame the government for creating the environment that will give birth to such filthy disgusting animals. Although I am against women going out wearing tight clothes that will “shape” her body, but I am sick of blaming the women for it. If a women gets raped because she was wearing a bikini while walking down the street, the rapist must me lynched..YES LYNCHED, the woman got more than enough problems to be told off for walking down the street wearing a bikini-get the message?
Totally agree.
I don’t agree fully, Ahmed.
You say Mubarak is responsible for people in Egypt being poor, I agree.
You say Mubarak is responsible for men becoming rapists or harassers in Egypt, I disagree. My observation is that the more free and open a society handles and discusses sexuality, the less harassment and rape exists. I am a woman, I was being harassed, but still I understand the men. They cannot live their sexuality because its not allowed, having sexual relations openly kills the social status of any egyptian woman. Plus, no one has a lot of private room when they’re young so that they can’t even masturbate peacefully. Egypt need a sexual revolution. I am a German, the sexual revolution has happened there, and the youth is quiet happy with how things work. You fall in love, you have responsible sex or at least you try your best (not breaking hearts and use contraceptives), but you are not aggressive and abusive towards anyone. At least by far not to the degree how it is happening in Egypt, that is, unacceptably often – to every woman, every day.
But for now I am proud of you people for your other revolution. I can wait for the society to change for the better – and it will, thanks to muslim believers in Allah’s greatness and kindness, and also thanks to the egyptians who don’t believe in god.
I’m sorry, I wanted to say that I believe in the political power of every egyptian, I didn’t want to exclude anyone. I just realised there are also koptic believers etc.
Helene- you’re kidding right?
In the US, one in 5 women are raped in their lifetime (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/15/health/nearly-1-in-5-women-in-us-survey-report-sexual-assault.html), and Germany’s is about 1/3 of that (from the statistics I found: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics). Domestic violence is also startlingly high across Western Europe and North America, and is the leading cause of death for women between 15 and 44 in USA (http://www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html). Sexual harassment exists across the Western world (hollaback.com).
The root issue is PATRIARCHY, not sexual revolution or religion or anything else. Western Europe or the USA are in absolutely no position to give advice on how to fix Egypt given the abysmal state of women’s rights in those countries, particularly when this advice obscures the very real problems in the USA and Europe (as yours does).
Well do you have rape stats about egypt? We’re talking about harassment on the streets. I’m not saying USA is liberal in that regard. And you see that Germany is better off than the USA. Yes Germany is more liberal when it comes to talking about sex and being open about it in general, than the USA.
Good idea, get rid of patriarchy! That’s even better than a sexual revolution. Looking forward to it!
And one good advice. I am not saying I have all the ideas about egypt. It’s your country, you know best how to change it, and it’s you who has to. But should that be the reason for everybody else to shut up? We can learn a lot from each other.
So of course no, I’m not kidding.
AdhamS is correct. Economic stress brings out the worst in people. Helene, you are misinformed to believe that a sexual revolution will solve the problems in the Middle East. You sound as silly as Abdullatif blaming women. You are one in the same with your logic.
Dear Helene, with all due respect I disagree with you. Where ever you find poverty, you will find high rate of murder,rape and all the other crimes you can imagine of. I have to say that you are over exagerating it a bit especially with the whole we cant even masturbate peacefully dont you think? Although to an extent the media and the Egyptian hollywood was sexually liberal (To an extent) but the people are not. Both Muslim and Coptic, they are conservative and holding to the fundamentals of their religion and therefore a sexual revolution will just be a disaster and would cause unecessary disturbance. Both sides of the society cannot accept the idea of free sex no matter how westernized they can become.
During all the eras before Hosny mubarak we have never seen such high rate of sexual harassment and any Egyptian, male or female, Muslim or Coptic will agree with me. Free sex will not solve anything and in fact, it will make things worse!
I don’t believe it is true that with poverty comes rape. With this you’re basically saying that every poor man is a bad one. Thievery of course comes with hunger. So I don’t believe in this solution of yours, less poverty=less rape. I was harassed in Zamalek by a rich looking guy, so. Also, Mubarak being removed is certainly not resolving all of Egypt’s problems.
Actually I don’t know about the masturbating. Just imagining. Since I am not an egyptian man. You know that better. Good to hear that you don’t feel restricted here.
It’s true that religion will play a larger role in Egypt than in Europe in the future, so the role of sexual relationships will stay more restricted. So I hope you’re right, that you’ll find a way to minimize harassment in your own, egyptian way. So go on finding solutions!
Thats incorrect. I did not mean that every poor person is a criminal but its a universal fact, where you find poverty, you will find high rate of crimes! And for that pig that harassed you, thats also a result of the poverty. Because he saw that the money he has in his pockets made him sort of a demi-god in Egypt, he can get anything he wants with it. And I dont mean that all the rich people are like that but some are influenced in their minds BY THE POVERTY THEY SEE in the country. back in the 60s,70s as well it would be a miracle to get your hands on drugs whatever the kind, now its cheaper than food! YES cheaper than food. Alot of Egyptian youth who just gave up on life would spend the rest of the time they have left in their internal clock just sniffing the hell out of that crap and get drunk day after day after day! So its not shocking to find them harrasing ladies…Again this is the effect of POVERTY! And I hope my reply was useful! DeskGirl if you are reading this, Rabena ma3aky ya o5ty, Muslima aw Mesee7iya mate2refsh enshallah 7atshoofy el noor ba3d lama terga3 masr to2af 3ala regleha!
AdhamS never said that povery = rape. He is talking about something very true, something you may not have experienced in Germany. If you live around severe economic stress, you will see how it affects people. I have a feeling that you have never known this reality….
So true, it will not solve anything.
so you mean that you want to be harassed by men that means you like to have sex every time you hang around with men.
Look up the word “sarcasm” please. It will make your stay on earth more pleasant if you learn it.
i guess he doesnt get it
u must be kidding right???
u dont get sarcasm?
Le Sigh.
me sigh too
what i like the most is how u did stood up to that perv 
You are joking right?
i hope so
This is soooo funny and at the same time soo Sad I am very sorry for saying this but I had to say it. Apparently someone did not spend enough time READING THE BLOG!!!!!
Gents, It happens everywhere.
Yesterday on post in an adjacent Unit;
“The Air Force charged three of its cadets with sexual misconduct on Thursday, including one accused of rape, just over a week after the government revealed a rise in reports of sexual assault at military academies”.
“U.S. military academies had seen reports of sexual assaults rise sharply to 65 in the last academic year from 41 previously, and announced new policies to help victims”.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45891687#.TwePXlYhJRF
Although, I have read this blog about 4 months ago when I was in Egypt, I’m still interesting to check it on from time to other just to get to know more about the culture of respecting the others personal perspective after the revolution .
Thumbs Up to the Disk Girl.
Regards,
God Bless Egypt
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you’re a dumb fuck!
yes,…cursing solves everything, especially sarcasm.
well, all i can say its not only in Egypt, but in Europe and USA,i have been to many European countries and i saw young boys attacking girls everywhere, and in most of the gulf area you will find the same, but we all know why its too much in Egypt and middle east, bcz most of us are not well educated, no religious back ground, since childhood they always trying to separate between both girls and boys, and the young generation whom cannot afford marriage expenses due to no jobs
(
however i feel sorry for the girls in some areas in my country
I think you are the most sickest, ignorant bitch in this whole world. You are a slut & you give in to the attention because that’s all you are good for. You’re a shame to all Egyptian women out there. Being an Egyptian woman myself, I’m ashamed to say you’re from the same country as me. What can I say? Ommak sharmoota ya bit el miknak. Touf! (spit)
. . . and cursing improves all levels of dialog, right Fatma? Please look up the word “sarcasm” before you spit. Here, let me make it easy for you: Just click here and read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasm
I’ve recommended your blog to a couple of journo friends who write for http://ourothersisters.com/ hopefully they’ll be in touch about a guest post/interview if your interested! Love your blog! If you have anything to say about the topics covered on my site you’d be MORE than welcome to guest post there as well if you are interested x
Have you tried to tell the guy that you have AIDS? It might work to scare the shit out of them
Great article! As a foreigner living in Egypt for four years, I can completely agree with most of the points in this article. However, there are still some good and respectful men out there in Egypt but they seem few and far between…I married one, so I do know they exist.
I’ve also tried responding in a robotic language and it seems to scare most men; there are days when you can only treat it as a joke and other days where your level of tolerance is up and either ignore the situation or verbally attack to let out the pent-up frustration.
Egypt is far from changing but I think it needs to come first from the people themselves before we will see any overall-changes in the country itself.
This article describes my daily life in the Dominican Republic. Sadly, another chauvinist country.
I really like your article. I just have almost 2 months living in El Cairo and learn that I should not be “too polite” with men here. If I ask for some advice trying to find a street, they help me but after that they want to be “my friends” and go for a date…so I say thank you and just go (taxi drivers, cashiers in supermarkets, when i buy something in pharmacies, etc). I don’t wear attractive clothes (i didn’t do it in my country because I prefer comfortable ones) and I won’t. I don’t speak arabic but I can feel their eyes on me when I walk (all women can feel it in the same situation) and listen some words that I don’t understand..Hopefully nothing bad happened to me here. I had the feeling to be safter than my hometown…reading your blog reminds me to be alert ALWAYS. Lately I’m using my “Idontwanttobeyourf***!friend” face and it works for me… Anyway I still believe that must be great people around to know. Hope I can meet some of the right ones
Didnt read it all just bits and pieces … but u do generalize all the way ..
this world is not made of good intentions and u know
so instead of complaining dress up modestly ..
u r an educated women .. u cant talk science with an illiterate, right?
so why dont u do the same when it comes to clothing?
dress up right ..and off u go ..
btw …check out rape ratios in the states or around the globe, u will be amazed of the ratings ..
again … some of us understand ur problem
but instead of blaming men and their sick fantasies ..blame the media whom by WOMEN’s consent have made a commodity out of you
u can dress up whatever u feel like .. just dont force HUNGRY STUPID MEN TO watch …
once more thing .. anywhere in the world u will gazed @ .. and groped ..u can check that on the internet .. videos all over the place ..
have a good day ..
Well, that’s what happens in a culture that believes that females are predominantly sexual beings interested in sex regardless of their age. That means you can’t win for losing, it’s always the female’s fault with very rare exceptions, and men are expected and encouraged to have sex on the brain
Where do Islam and Buddhism stand on this situation? Any examples from the Prophet Muhammad’s exemplary life that can be applied?
EXCELLENT POST!! I enjoyed your witty sarcasim, but mostly your responses to some of the most common ‘lines’ used by our deprived and very frustrated preditors! Chapau! I have written about the topic twice, talked to High School Students and recently been interviewed about my opinion on the topic and conditions in the country! i think you nailed it on the head!
I usually choose to ignore, but as the groping has increased since the revolution. I have taken to learning self defense, just in case I’m ever put in a situation where no one is around or chooses not to come to my aid, (because I clearly am ‘asking for it’). If I’m going to go down, I’m going to go down fighting!
I look forward to reading more of your posts.
IrishAlexandrian