I wake up every morning looking forward to getting sexually harassed in Cairo. Because a day gone by without being whistled at like cattle or groped like a melon at a vegetable store is a day unlived in this city. Right?
I even dress according to how often I’d like to get harassed that day. Tight white t-shirt? That’s the number one sign that I’m asking for it. Skinny jeans are obviously worn to highlight my butt so men know what to grab (some short-sighted idiots completely miss and grab my hip instead, which is just plain insulting).
And since I don’t cover my hair, then obviously I know what shit I’m getting myself into by walking on the streets of the city I call home as an equal citizen to the men that lurk on corners, outside shops, dangling from microbuses, waiting happily.
As an Egyptian woman, I completely understand that my purpose in this life is to serve the sexually frustrated imaginations of these poor men who can’t get it up. My father and mother spent years of sweat, tears and hard-earned cash on educating me into an emancipated woman so that one day I become a walking piece of meat on the street. Obviously.
Then I discovered that all the hours I put into my hair and makeup make no difference whatsoever to my sexual predators; I could walk around with my uncombed hair and a gallabeya; hell, I could wear a black tent from head to toe and still, they’d find something sexual about me. Ever heard Egyptian men talk about how erotic the Niqab is? Yeah, apparently there’s nothing you can do or wear to incite harassment.
Just the plain fact that you have boobs and they don’t means you’re up for grabs, literally.
I could spend what’s left of my pea-sized woman’s brain wondering what I did to deserve this friendly male reception, or analyzing why society has continuously objectified us little women into pigeon-holes of either innocent, doe-eyed girls or rampant whores; but I won’t.It takes too much brain power, and me being the weaker sex, I should stick to what I do best, which according to these men, is nothing.
Which is why I should never talk back, or look back, or yell or ask for help; this is my fate, I must accept it. And not even the veil can protect me from my Muslim brothers.
So I play a little game in my head. It’s like walking through a videogame scene, where every man is a potential predator, and I keep my radar finely tuned, my walk fast and dontmesswithme, my eyes scanning every corner for attackers. Over the years, I’ve acquired a Robocop face that occasionally scares the living shit out of small children and animals, and my middle finger is my videogame weapon that I choose to shoot when the moment comes.
But I only keep it for those who really deserve it; I ask myself ‘Is this the worst line I’ve heard all day? Has he managed to completely annihilate my self-esteem?’ If so, then he gets the finger. If not, I just walk on.
And I defy what my well-intentioned mother and many other kind Egyptians have taught me, and I answer back. Why should men get all the fun?
Him: Bsssst! Bsssssst! Bssssssst!!
Me: Bsssst dee teb2a ommak.
Him: WELKOM TO EEJIPT!
Me: SANK YOU!
Him: Wat Zis? Wat Zis? Wat Zis? WAT ZIS?
Me: Zis is etnayel yala.
Him: Matgeeb Bosa?
Me: Ma3ak Dettol?
Him: Oh MAI GODD!
Me: Ommak Ar3a.
And as fun as it is to talk back, I’m sure I’m not getting the same kick out of it that they are. And I know that it could only make things worse for me, my predator could easily attack me in broad daylight or get his friends together to follow me like a pack of rabid dogs, and of course it will be my fault because I talked back, when I should ignore it and accept that this is the price you pay for being a woman in Egypt. Right?
Although very bitter but still I understand what all of you Egyptian women have to go through whenever you have to go on the streets of the once very safe city.
It will take decades before the people in this country that taught the world many times can once more teach its’ sons how to behave with their sisters & mothers .
This has been happening for a long time here – not just prompted by the revolution – so even when the city was “safer” this nonsense always was around. And it’s not just Egyptian women. ALL women and girls, even sometimes more so expats because many people here think Western women are promiscuous or want the attention given what many people see in movies or TV shows – thank you Hollywood.
well said girl!
Brilliant post. Major props.
The thing is though, while I do find it extremely tasteless, I think verbal harassment is really a minor issue. Low-lifes of that sort yell shit at almost everyone they think wouldn’t have the guts to confront them, not just women. The comments take sexual overtones with women, because of the general way society and, hence said sleazebags, tend to look at them. A large portion of our society still holds the medieval view that women are feeble, vulnerable objects. So, again, I find it abhorrent, but I don’t really think of it as sexual harassment – not the kind that we need worry about too much, anyway. It’s merely a symptom of our society’s retarded views.
The practical solution is quite simply to stand up to them every single time. Emphasis needs to be put on the way girls are raised to naturally think of themselves as victims. Unless, there is a threat of it turning into physical harassment/assault, there’s no excuse for women not to confront the so-called verbal assaulter.
It doesnt matter if it’s verbal or nonverbal. It is annoying and sometimes it really hurts. as the author said. you are a well educated woman that is so much worth than these idiots and you have to hear them telling you something about your *** and your ***? Fight back. Last thursday i was almost crying. waiting in Alex at the kornish for my friends to come few cars stopped. yes, my hair was open (OMG!!!) and i had nice make up. knowing about the idiots out there i had a huge scarf around my shoulders and freast and half ofmy butt. i was definetly looking like a whore waiting for a client. and eben when i started fighting with the guys in one car they didnt care. one looked really amused. nobody said anything to the, except to girls who asked me if i knew the guys. one girl was around 18 and the other older and in a wheelchair. the men next to me were obviously thinking i like it.
it hurts and no matter words or touch. in Alex i was touched only once by a young boy during Eid.
I get where you’re coming from, but as there really isn’t a way to hold people accountable for what they say on the streets and as it’s no where near as serious an issue as physical harassment, I think less time needs to be devoted to it, because it’s just a symptom of a bigger social malady.
The only way to completely end harassment of all sorts is for women to start standing up for themselves and demanding their rights instead of just constantly complaining about harassment. Unfortunately, the Tahrir Demo on International Women’s Day proved that not nearly enough women here are willing to do that.
fasheety 3′olly !!!
THANK YOU
GREAT JOB
Loved your sarcasm, keep it up, great job.
nice talk back besara7a
.. but i agree it will only worsen things ! unless u look like a dangerous woman !
very well said.. way to go girl
)
amazing piece.the last paragraph is just…perfect!you’re the spokesman for everysingel girl in the country with that piece.and especially me personally on the last few lines :”and of course it will be my fault because I talked back, when I should ignore it and accept that this is the price you pay for being a woman in Egypt. Right? “,keep it up.i like the sarcastic tone.
i shared it with my friends on facebook btw
Thank you!! I think is totaly right and indeed EVERY SINGLE WOMEN (not only Egyptian) suffer this harrassement and we should ALL be more active and not accept this…even if it’s tiring some times (there are many ways to confront it).
f*** egypt , I hate it , I am a man and I hate Egypt :S
no fuck egypt! i am a woman and i love egypt! :p
Amazinggggg
Nice Post .. still testahly 3aleh bosa .. Bas baree2a
etnayel yala! a new classic by suz…very good read
)
dear,
i agree its hard to walk the streets , i have a sister fully clothed and she has the same problem but lets not keep it all that men are just bad
in previous days that wasnt true so what happened
we have 3 main resons
1- ignorance
2- lack of religion
3- tailored freedom
i will only talk about no 3
in europe or usa girls can wear all they want with so little herrasments is it because there nice guys , i dont think so, the men there have sexual freedom too
i once saw a tv show where a man was proud that he had 126 different girls that he slept with by the age of 26 , he was from usa
so as u can see aman like that if u walk without clothes infront of him he will not see u
but a man with no woman , not even a kiss
, and with most girls undressing in all ways in the streets , an internet filled with porn sites and no marriage till 35 maybe 40 years i think they will do all
if u add no1 + no2 to no3 u will get a predetor but its not that we are bad and they are good
“in europe or usa girls can wear all they want with so little herrasments”
not true. at least in the us. (i can’t speak for europe.) i’ve lived in 5 cities in the usa, from small towns to new york, and street harassment is RAMPANT.
i would venture to guess this is true worldwide, unfortunately.
I think it’s mixed messages and a lack of sexual expression. You have people that adhere strictly to the “no sex before marriage” aspect of religion but then they’re in a society that says, if you can’t afford it, you can’t get married. And then you have men making a sport of it. I do believe this is often found in specific economic levels. Those with more means are often less socially/sexually oppressed perhaps. Maybe I’m wrong. I certianly think number 2 isn’t quite accurate – I think you can combine 1 and 2 to make 2 more realistic – there’s ignorance about one’s own religion. People may think they’re Muslim or Christian but the way some people treat women, even animals! does not follow the teachings of religion.
Egypt has been full of women of all shapes and sizes and fashion senses for a long time, so I don’t think you’re comparison to the US (as and American) is accurate. It’s ignorance of what a woman is and can be.
Yeah, but a lot of harrassers are MARRIED men.
Lack of religion is not a problem.
Religion is the problem.
I couldn’t agree more…
SO TRUE!
Thanks from the bottom of my heart coz u said what i couldn’t express….i am facing the same problem everyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyydayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and i don’t know why..Imagine that i have started wearing sleeves even in the summer??? Imagine that i can’t even walk in order not to get herrassed …i always raiding a taxi ..i always pay much in order to get safe ….:’(
it is true ya Marym….i avoid walking as well..
It really sucks. I’ve been here for a almost a decade and guys really seem to have become just worse towards women. As a foreigner I’ll sometimes have the most morally degraded conversations with cab drivers regarding them when I don’t even wanna talk…..( As if their behavior towards the women they pass by is supposed to impress me in a twisted way) like ” Here Mr.5awaga enjoy our Nile , the sights and our top notch berating of women!” and it really fucked me up when I noticed they don’t give two shits whether it’s a woman in a Niqab or a mother with her kids anyways I’m ranting a little bit. Honestly I got no good solutions in mind to this kind of thing. Really liked the article though I laughed hard and remembered for a dark minute what other women are wondering their day’s gonna be as they head out to work, much respect.
Amazing Article, very well-written. Keep the good work
Essam.
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Perfect….just perfect….
spot on, really good writing
Seriously,
T H U M B S U P ! ! !
@ Anonymous “What an eloquent illustration !!! Thank U”.
@ Diary of a Desk Girl “I have nothing to say” awesome article
I could have written these lines myself!
great article. thank you!
As I see it, for these dumb bastards, harassing women in the streets is a way to show their ‘manhood’.
Can’t handle it anymore. I have been living in Egypt for 6 years now (i have been of course verbally but also physically assaulted). I once loved living here. But now they are disgusting me from this country a little more everyday.
Brilliantly written! Thank you for this. I can comment further but will rather not. Let me just assure you as a woman that lived in Cairo on and off since 2009, that this happens in every single city in the world. Tell you the truth, I found Egyptian men to have a lot of voice only. Western met are even more crude.
I lived in different places and traveled a lot,too and NO, it is not like it is in Egypt all over the world – and I think stating things like this will only make it look more trivial or normal to Egyptian guys who are harassing. I cant talk about the US but in Europe and Australia you actually can walk around cities as a woman and you wont be harassed daily several times like it is in Egypt.
The only countries it happened to me were Tunisia and Egypt (never been to any other arab country). It didnt happen in Europe (several countries), No, sorry..it happened to me last summer in germany and who were the idiots? one arab and the other one with dark skin (not african but dint know where from).
I would agree, this did not happen to me in Europe and the U.S. But where I was raised, in a Middle Eastern Islamic country, hell yeah..every day. There is definitely a correlation between this behavior and being in an Islamic controlling country, where every one HAS to be Muslim, not by choice. Obviously people are raped all over the world, but where dramatically more?
I come from India and the situation is still the same, if not worser. I think problem is not the dress but the medieval mentality of some men, who irrespective of their religion , nationality or anything will be like animals, who treat every women on the street with the same contempt. But after living in Europe for some 10 years, I have seen that ,at least women out here don’t invite stares or comments that often and can safely venture out even in late evenings… Maybe it is fear of law, than anything that deters and discipline these creatures….
I think as long as the police in egypt does it there will never be any law working to protect women
GR8 JOB!
Thumbs up!
I’ve already linked you in my blog
have a look at it, especially if you are interested in yoga.
Keep up the good work!!!
hope to meet you one day
all the best
simply so freakin true …. i like your way in writing 2wyyyyyyyy
great article i guess touchs all women everywhere especailly in egypt.
It is the same everywhere, not just a problem for Egyptian women. See the testimonies by women in the USA on the Stop Harassment site. Also see Hollaback DC or Hollaback New York. I hate that I think about what I can wear to lessen men’s interest. And it seems long skirts do. But I agree that it is not in the end about clothing, it is about men’s feeling of entitlement to harass women because they are women. Until women really take on this issue, we remain second class citizens. Here is a shout out to Hollaback and Blank Noise (India). Wonderful organizations working to help women define public space as a place for us!
sad but true … may be if all the girls agree to start sexually harass Egyptian men… may be they will feel the humiliation they put us though !! but they could like it:S !!!! bastards :S !!
Try it – with plenty of women in the area to back you up. The average man is terrified of a mob of women. Who knows what they could hide under an abaya.
Foul mouthed commenters:
Ask them, “Do you talk to your mother like that?” “Do you use that filthy mouth to pray with?”
Exhibitionists – the wee-wee wavers:
If you are in a group, just point at him and laugh. It will shrivel.
Shriek loudly and sympathetically, “Oh you poor man, it’s so small. How can you even pee with a penis that tiny?” or be horrified and shout as you point. “That man’s penis has BUGS (or sores) all over it!”
One of my co-workers sprayed the guy’s exposed parts with a near-by fire extinguisher. It was the CO2 kind, and he got frostbite of the dangly bits. Painful, very painful.
Carry hot pepper sauce or spray (if the spray is legal) and toss it onto his exposed parts. it’s extremely painful but does no permanent damage.
Tushy Touchers:
If they touch you, yell loudly, “Be a good Muslim and get your hands off my awrah!”. Or cite the appropriate verse at them. (could that make a good protest sign: “Keep your hands off my awrah!”
Humiliate them, if you have the self-defense skills: I was traveling on a crowded subway in Mexico city and suddenly my friend yanked a man’s hand up in front of us, holding it in a painful martial arts grip, and asked me loudly in Spanish, “What should I do with this? I found it crawling on my ass like a tarantula.” I claimed to never have seen such an insect before and asked another woman if the subway was known to harbor “bichos” like that. She said yes, and they are disgusting, aren’t they. We spent the time to the next stop discussing what the fate of the “tarantula” should be, while the guy whose hand was being discussed was arm-locked, bent over in pain, trying to hide his face. He scuttled to the door to the guffaws of the whole car.
WOW ! that’s Exactly the case here n I believe for every girl…the problem is not how u look..it’s about these men mentalities !! they need 2 grow up,get educated and the most important ! get some ethics ! I duno from where would they get it…as the whole country is corrupt ! wteverrrrrr !
nice job u did..
WOW ! that’s Exactly the case here n I believe for every girl…the problem is not how u look..it’s about these men mentalities !! they need 2 grow up,get educated and the most important ! get some ethics ! I duno from where would they get it…as the whole country is corrupt ! wteverrrrrr !
nice job u did..
Sometimes I wish I had supernatural powers so that when i stare at the sleavy guy…its like an invisible iron first squeezes his “jewels” so hard until he screams “Ana M****”… A girl can only dream i guess
You are totally right – I just wish your insults were not directed to the mother of the guy – are mothers not women to respect too?
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HAHAHAHAHA. That was really good!! Sarcastic and witty, hits the spot! (No, not hitting on you right now. Wonder if you should pass out links to your blog to the aforementioned sexual predators?)
Anyway, one phrase you said reminded me of something I had read earlier and I figured I’d share with you, perhaps you’d be interested. The phrase was “society has continuously objectified us little women into pigeon-holes of either innocent, doe-eyed girls or rampant whores.” Here’s what it reminded me of, just for insight
“I thought you’d understand. Pope
Joan isn’t real. She never existed. Her story is as apocryphal as
that of some of the early martyrs but it doesn’t matter. It’s about
faith. It’s about how something can be fiction and true too, after a
fashion. In Joan’s case it’s a truth about the place women are
supposed to have in the world. How we’re meant to be either harlots
or heroines. Virgins or whores. It doesn’t occur to you that there
might be other permutations. Some middle way in which, perhaps,
we’re both, or neither. Or something else altogether.” It’s a quote by a character called Alicia Vaccarini in David Hewson’s A Season for the Dead.
thanks for the quote! i really like it.
I don’t know who you are GIRL, but this is one of the best blogs I set my eyes on… spontaneous, straightforward and blunt. Whoever you are keep it up GIRL
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http://youtu.be/XwmKqZGORm8 —> reminded me of this song by emilie autumn. same sarcasm lol
OMG…ur sooooo right…..men have no idea,even decent men, what women r going through in this God forsaken country. I hope we actually can get all girl and women strong enough to fight back when shit like that happens. And knowing that the police only answer and say ” manty 2elly gebty le nafsek bosy labsa 2eh” we should act our selfs …. self defence or mace is the best wasy to go. women are scientifically proven to be faster,stronger and smarter than men by nature. even if a girl was walking around toplesssssss …that dosen’t give any man a right to touch or even say anything.
just curious, were you educated abroad or in Egypt? thanks
i’ve lived in egypt my whole life and educated here, why?
may be because you are very pretty girl/women !, anyway how could we trust this world and feel safe and secure while beloved ones are walking in the streets. don’t blame your self, you don’t have to compare your self to them, i guess the only choice we can make is to get out of here. the sooner the better.
i love this country and i have no intention of leaving just because a few pricks make my life uncomfortable.
sexual harassment is a form of violence, just like physical harassment.. same causes !
I’m glad you are enjoying it!
Just curious, because your language and culture seems like you were educated abroad, or perhaps just in private language schools?
i like